It's not so bad, It's not so bad..

Okay, so I don't really know what I need to be writing about right now. But I'm writing, because writing is always a good thing. So heres some stuff:

This weekend I went to SBU for a college visit. I loved it. It's a place I could definitely see it being a place I call home for a small fraction of my life. The professors are great, the atmosphere is great, and I can tell its a place where I would be able to grow spiritually. A lot. This was mega good for me, because I've been stressing about college stuff. And now I know I have one solid choice. Even if nothing else works out, I have one solid choice.

Also, I've been sick. But I also had a dang busy weekend, so that didn't work for me. So I decided not to be sick. End of story. Plus, when I'm sick, it gives me an excuse to do less that what I am capable of. And theres no reason for that.

I've been listening to a lot of "The Killers", which is actually kind of bumming me out, because they broke up a couple years ago. Which means theres no more new music. But anyway, I love them.

Okay, time to get thought provoking. I started reading this book, called "Searching for God knows what" and I'm digging it. Its more of a collection of essays than a straight forward novel. But I love it. The author talks about his time as a christian before his relationship with God actually becomes a relationship. He compares Jesus to santa. He talks about how before, he thought of God as someone who was there, and who he believed in, but who he didn't bother to have a relationship with.

The relational aspect of my faith is something I know I need to work on. I mean, it's there, but it isn't strong. I want my love for God to grow. You know? I want him to be my friend, not just someone who I go to when I'm in trouble.

And thats another thing. Sometimes, I think that God can use trouble to prove something to us. Like I may have reached a point this weekend where I thought, "Okay, the only way I could have to go through this much is if God's gonna use it to better me." And that made me feel amazingly calm. I slept well. I got to church at 6:30. I got everything I needed to get done, done, and that allowed for me to help one of our associates set up, since they may or may not have had an alarm clock malfunction.

And it was good. I was able to put together 2 separate services with a 3 man band. And I really thing both went well.

So tonight we had switch, and we discussed the rich man who asks Jesus how to get to heaven. Jesus tells him he has to give away everything he has. He doesn't like this. So he walks away disappointed. So I started thinking about what I'm putting in between God. What would Jesus tell me that I need to give up? Food for thought.

Also, there is a student that comes to switch, that I really enjoy talking with. He's a genius. Here's an example: Think about the analogy of the camel going through the eye of the needle. Picture it in your head. How many of you pictured a metal needle?

Wrong.

Tonight I learned, that during that time, the needle was most likely made of animal bone. Thats the kind of stuff I love learning about. All of that extra stuff from history.

Okay, I guess that's probably enough for tonight. Theres more going on in my head, but I'm gonna wait and try to figure out a little more before I rant anymore. Cool? Cool.

Song of the day: "Bling, (Confession of a King)" By the Killers. Here's my interpretation. Its a song about things being dang hard. And this guy knows what he's supposed to do. But in his mind, life is already hard enough. "When I offer you survival, you say it's hard enough to live"  I like to think of this like the chorus is what God is saying. (But I think it was written as a man to a woman) It goes on to say, "Don't tell me that it's over, stand up, poor and tired, but more than this." Like, things may suck, but you're better than that, and things will get better.  The breakdown says "Higher and higher, we're gonna take it down to the wire, we're gonna make it, out of the fire. Higher and higher." This is my favorite part. I think its talking about the best part of rock-bottom: You can only go up.

The last line says, "It ain't hard to hold, when it shines like gold, you'll remember me.." I totally agree. If everything was perfect, if it all "shined like gold", then we wouldn't have to have faith.

So have faith.