I wish I was British..

So. Its been a while.

Like.. a long while.

Let's act like it hasn't.

Heres a quick recap of some high pints in my life since the last time I blogged.

I got a new car, graduated high school, performed at graduation, pranked the school, attended some concerts, went on some random road trips, got some speeding tickets, bought some guitars, worked all summer with rbcstudents, went to CAMP, prepped for college, WENT to college, made new friends, got a job at Jimmy John's, and I've successfully survived on the least amount of sleep I've ever gotten in my life!

Theres been a lot of other stuff to, but those are some big ones. So..

I'm sitting here in my dorm room, it's late, and I'm exhausted, but I can't go to sleep. Which is pretty much the story of my college life thus far. Theres a lot of school, and work, and extra-curricular activities, not to mention being the social butterfly that I am. And man, am I busy. I feel like I fit 5 times as much stuff into a day as I did last year. I don't know how I'm doing it.

But all that aside, theres not much to complain about. I'm doing great, in every area I can think of.

As far as school goes, I'm doing well in all my classes. I'm on the fast track to graduating early, heading to medical school, and starting a real career. Then theres work. God's blessed me with an amazing job, (I actually get payed to drive fast.. It wonderful), and I'm working great hours and making great money. And through school and work, I've met so many new people. It seems like the number of people I would call friends has grown exponentially over the past few months.

Every thing is great. If there was ever a time for me to feel satisfied, it would be now.

But its not doing it for me. Not even close. Im so discontent.

See, God's been stirring up all sorts of stuff in my heart. And I can't interpret any of it.

So here I am, preparing for whatever He's got going on in His head right? Im headed for a successful career. Im saving money. I'm working hard in school. I don't know what else I'm supposed to be doing. And every time I ask God what I'm supposed to do, I get the same dang answer.

Wait.

And you know what? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tired of it. And I mean that in the most literal way.

I am tired. I'm emotionally and spiritually worn out.

Theres things that I want to give up on. I want to tell God I can't do it anymore. I want to be done. But He keeps telling me to wait and its so. Dang. Hard.

I don't know what He wants me to do with my life. But here I am on the fast track to a medical degree, where I'll be able to own a home, get married, support a family, give the people I love what they need. I should be happy about that right? Yet I'm sitting here strongly considering pursuing a completely different career. Where I won't make enough to do anything except the bare minimum. Is that my desire? Or is that God? I don't know, but picking the wrong one could really mess me up.

Thats been my biggest struggle spiritually. Detecting the difference between What God wants, what my Heart wants, and what my Brain wants. Theres always Gods voice, but theres also my logic, as well as my passion. And I wish I could say they always matched up.. but they don't.

This was really messing me up, but after a good long talk, a friend shared this article with me.

Billy Graham | How to follow God’s path for you - KansasCity.com

It helped. 

A lot.

So heres my plan. If I can't tell which path God wants me to take, I'm just gonna wait. I'm gonna trust that God will make His will evident to me when He WANTS to make it evident to me. And until then, I'm going to live for Him in everything I do.

(But If you've got a better Idea, please feel free to share..)





If I remember right I usually end these with something pretty random.. But I don't have anything so..

Jk.. 

I'm actually going to leave you with a list of new(ish) and notable music. Because there has been some seriously good stuff lately. Here's a list of albums to check out:

Battle Born - the Killers

Babel - Mumford and Sons

Fallen Empires - Snow Patrol

North - Matchbox Twenty

Keep Your Eyes Open EP - NeedtoBreathe

Away from the World - Dave Mathews Band

Night Visions - Imagine Dragons

And if you never checked out Relient K's newest album, "Forget and Not Slow Down", I suggest you do. Theres some deep stuff.

Also.. the title has nothing to do with this post.. I just think it'd be cool to be British.